Lovely Laura Lee, a.k.a. the Midlife Crisis Queen, has decided to grace The Boomington Post with a guest post on her speciality: how to believe in love again after fifty. With extensive experience in midlife psychology, not to mention a steamy relationship of her own, here is a lady who certainly knows what she’s talking about when it comes to love, sex and romance in the golden years.
Love can be a tough one when you’re older, recently divorced or widowed, and wondering what’s next. I know I felt relatively certain my love life was over at age 49. But I learned so much more after I lost my career as a research librarian.
Going only on my own desire to try something completely different, I started my own dating service. There I spent some serious time learning from hundreds of 40+ singles about what it feels like to know that you are too young to give up on love, and yet fearful that you may be too disillusioned to ever believe in love again. What I discovered is that there are quite a few of us who have lost our faith in love, and that included me!
So I got busy and figured out how to change that. With my natural stubborn streak and extensive background in midlife psychology, I used decades of personal experience with love and disappointment to turn my attitude around. I first began to finally value my mysterious intuitive personal guidance system and not interrupt it constantly with more “rational” assessments of my situation. I also acknowledged how important it was for me to forgive myself for everything in my past, but what was the best way to do that?
Slowly I created a formula which included finding new self-respect for where I was at, appreciating how I got there, and then finding various ways to love myself into believing in love again. I saw that I felt afraid of love for many good reasons, so I began searching out those experiences in my past that were keeping me stuck in my old way of thinking. My formula included focusing on my own unique shame and trust issues, forgiving myself for past mistakes, listening to my inner wisdom, and utilizing cathartic techniques to change my beliefs about what love might have to
offer me now.
I knew I was on the right track when I met the love of my life a few months before age 50! Six years after that fateful meeting, and five years after our marriage, I completed this new book: How To Believe In Love Again: Opening to Forgiveness, Trust, and Your Own Inner Wisdom. Pick up this book when you are ready to acknowledge that you have lost your faith in love, and getting it back is your highest priority.
Laura Lee Carter worked for 25 years as a research librarian before transitioning into her work as a writer, love/life change coach and speaker. She holds three M.A. degrees including one in counseling with a specialty in midlife psychology. Don’t miss her popular blogs: MidlifeCrisisQueen.com and Believeinloveagain.Wordpress.com. Feel free to contact her for more information, interviews, blog guest posts and speaking engagements at: MidlifeCrisisQueen@gmail.com